Tuesday, May 30, 2017

The Bachelorette - My thoughts. On Copper's toe.

You guys. Her dog DOES have three legs! OK not really, but it looks like it. Just FYI - I Googled it – apparently he broke his toe. Dogs have toes?

Thoughts:

• Group date one is for: Dean, Jack, John, and some other guys. Wow, those are white names. Like, really white.

• The first group date is a barbecue and then an insanely stupid competition with a fake baby and plastic food. Oh and Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. Apparently the rules are quite soft, as everybody cheats. A real baby would’ve died in any of those Bjorns.

So I just stand here and pretend I'm barbecuing, right? 


• The after-party is at a warehouse filled with shitty old neon signs. Where did the budget go this season?

• Rachel tells us she’s not getting the romance out of this date. I wonder why? Could it be the tickle monster talking about how to wipe a baby’s asshole, Blake’s hairy chest and dog tag, or obnoxious dude who recites poems?

 The chest/necklace combo? That's the shit nightmares are made of.


• I like Dean. I am unsure if I want him having an orgasm on top of me, but I like him nonetheless.

• Kenny does NOT seem like a professional wrestler. Whaboom does.

• Peter gets the one-on-one date and it certainly comes close to the top of the “worst date of all time” list. Barkfest? I want NO part of that Parvo fest thank you very much.

• Peter and Rachel and Copper head outside to check out some fireworks… like a shitload of fireworks. Hasn’t poor Copper been through enough? With his oversized cast for his dog toe and now these loud ass fireworks. Way to mentally damage the poor dog, Producers.

• Group date two is for: Diggy, Demario, Josiah and some other guys. Wow, those are NOT white names. Like, really not white.

• DeMario’s ex-girlfriend is a smidge on the dirty side, let’s be honest here.

• Josiah definitely moans a lot during sex.


OK That’s it for me, peeps. I’m going to take the furry terrorist out to crap since my carpets have had enough.

My new pup. 

6 comments:

  1. Recap-hilarious. Puppy-precious.Show-boring.

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  2. How is it you didn't say anything about Peter getting on top of you naked?! He is DELICIOUS. Pretty sure he's out to further his modeling career rather than trying to be marrying our girl, but if we can get him to place 3rd or even 4th he's our next bachelor.

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  3. Did you get a wheaten terrier??

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  5. Thanks for the comments! I still don't remember who's who at this point. Love the photo of your new pooch! Cutie!

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  6. Am I the only one who noticed that DeMario's ex-girlfriend had a SCRUNCHIE around her wrist?!

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