Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Sad Update!

First of all, THIS:


Second of all, I have bad news. I’m retiring. And by “retiring”, I mean I won’t be posting recaps/thoughts for a little while, but I’m sure I’ll be one of those people who says she’s retiring but then decides to come out of retirement because she hates being retired and everyone is like “what the fuck I thought she retired.”

I watched Monday’s show and took notes and have been staring at them ever since. I have nothing new to say! It’s just the same shit and I have the same jokes. Last week, some bitch commented on my post that it was terrible and I’ve given up. Yes, super rude, but also true. I’m certainly not quitting because of some chick who throws out insults to people she doesn’t know online, but she wasn’t all wrong either. My thoughts aren’t that funny anymore. I’ve been doing this a long ass time and I honestly think if I walk away for awhile, I might come back better, funnier and happier.

Plus there’s a lot of real life craziness going on – not bad stuff, but just stuff that makes it really hard to dedicate any amount of time to this blog and I don’t want to keep churning out shit, just so I keep the blog going. You get me?

I can’t tell you how happy your comments and witty banter on Facebook have made me, over the years. I truly love my readers and it’s 100% why I’ve continued to do it the last year or so. You’re all (uh mostly) so kind to me and I love the e-friendships I’ve developed with my loyal followers, especially the guy who buys me Mexican food every year on my birthday. And the ladies who printed up my face and brought me to their Bachelorette finale viewing party one year so we could watch it “together”. And the random people who recognize me at weddings and shit and take selfies with me. And all the people who send me Bachelor contestant sightings. You’re all my kind of people and I love you. And I’m sorry!

I’m sure I’ll be back – maybe not full force but I know I’ll watch this crap no matter what and I may not be able to help myself from commenting on some of it, somehow, somewhere.

Thanks again for your loyalty over the years – you’re such fun people. I wish we were all friends and lived in the same town and could all get drunk together at my house while watching the show. Goodbye for now!

87 comments:

  1. I've been watching the shows for only a couple of years and reading your blog afterwards is the most entertaining part! You are funny to me, and I hope you'll be back.

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  2. Your writing has been so witty for so many years. I can't say I've noticed any decline in funniness, but understand the pressure and wish you the best. Thanks for all the gasping for air laughs!

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    1. Thanks, Ana - so nice of you to say:)

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  3. Arghhhaa.... I get it. I do. But seriously, my husband knows I only watch this shit cause of the blog I love. So much that he even asks.... Did you read it yet on Tuesday mornings. Lol, he doesn't know what kind of herculean effort it takes to watch, PROCESS... WRITE AND BE FUNNY. gracias, Jorge style for all the laughs. Work on that puppy. Lawd, raise quality human beings if must but most of all...know you were the best thing about the last 10? (all) years of this damn show.

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  4. Arghhhaa.... I get it. I do. But seriously, my husband knows I only watch this shit cause of the blog I love. So much that he even asks.... Did you read it yet on Tuesday mornings. Lol, he doesn't know what kind of herculean effort it takes to watch, PROCESS... WRITE AND BE FUNNY. gracias, Jorge style for all the laughs. Work on that puppy. Lawd, raise quality human beings if must but most of all...know you were the best thing about the last 10? (all) years of this damn show.

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    1. I think I replied to you on my facebook page! Right? Well I love you and THANK YOU. xoxo

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  5. I will miss your recaps. I just started reading them about a year ago and they are always right on the money. I usually fall asleep during every episode so your recaps filled me in on the rest. I'll miss them, but hope this retirement helps you.

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    1. Thanks for the nice words, Allison!

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  6. Thank you Jen for taking the time to write such hilariously funny remarks for so long. Your take is better than the show and I always hoped that Chris Harrison or SOMEONE who puts this show shit all together would read your blog. They would have learned a lot. I will imagine you watching it in the future and throwing your dog, no, I mean shoe, at the TV because now you can't write down your thoughts for us. Wishing you and your family much happiness and a nice rest for you girl!

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    1. Fuck, me too! Why did nobody notice and make me rich? Also, throwing my dog at the TV made me LOL.

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  7. You totally deserve a break from this shit-storm of a show! I will miss your recaps and hope to see your wit & writing show up somewhere in this big online world soon. Thank you for all the laughs you have given me/us... you for sure made watching this show bearable! I'll continue to follow you on FB/IG and wish you all the best. (And come back, k?)

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    1. Yes! I'll totally check in on the FB page. I'll miss you guys!

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  8. Jen, you are totally good with calling it a day on the blog for now - I get it, and hope this takes some pressure off you. It's been so fun following you and reading your posts (you'll always be hilarious to me!) and I hope you do return to it when it "calls" your name again. I suspect you'll have many of us still posting comments on your FB page after shows so hopefully we can bring a smile to you too! Have an awesome summer and if you just can't stand staying quiet when BIP starts, please give us your thoughts! we'll miss you! - Jean, LA

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    1. Jean! Thank you so much for the nice words and always reading. Means so much to me! xoxo

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  9. We will miss your hilarious recaps but totally get that you need a break! I've always said if we lived closer we'd be great friends! Lol!

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  10. Thanks for the laughs!

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  11. don't blame you one bit Jen! I barely watched half the show this week. I will say that Rachel has made some pretty solid choices and decisions so far. She's a smart, tough cookie, which is great, but might be kinda boring for a TV show.

    I predict you'll be back for Paradise! thanks for all the laughs!!

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    1. You might be right. BIP is hard to ignore! xoxo

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  12. I get it. You deserve a break and we'll all miss you. Your real-life take on this crazy ass shit helped me enjoy the shows for years without worrying that I was going over to the dark side. I was on the light side with you looking back at them. Thanks for sharing your talent, quips, and rationality. Don't know how I'll make it through BIP without you, but... oh hell, of course I'm gonna watch it.

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    1. Hahahaa, we'll all watch it. Thanks for the nice note!

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  13. Jen - thank you for the laughter, wit and fun for so many years....you will be missed...and I may now have no reason to watch this shit anymore...guess I should thank you for that too. Best of luck in your retirement!!

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  14. Aw, sorry to see this, but totally understand! I'm keeping the bookmark alive though, hoping for your return. I heard on a podcast that Rachel dated Kevin Durant in college! Wow! Go Warriors! Take care!

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  15. It's not you, it's the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. There is nothing new to say about it!

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    1. Yeah, that's definitely part of the problem, right??

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  16. i only watched it for your comments! I am quitting too! These last few shows have been stupid. Enjoy your life!

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    1. Thanks Jean. Agreed these last episodes have been snooze-y

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  17. It's not you, it's Them. This show is not what it used to be. I mean yeah, it's always been a campy cheesy schmuckfest, but there was a time when the franchise pretended to take itself seriously and it was loads of fun for the viewers because it felt like we were all in on the joke. They also used to occasionally cast funny, interesting people.

    Now, it's all been exposed, the joke is out and we're stuck bunch of wannabe stunt queens who are clearly only there to boost their social media profiles. The joke is no longer funny, it's just tedious and boring.

    Props to you for sticking it out this long, but it's like trying to squeeze water out of a rock and I'm sure that has to be frustrating. I'll certainly miss your humor and wit, and wish you the best.

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    1. Wow, well said. SO true all of this. And thank you for the nice words!

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  18. Please dont go. You keep me out of my sadness everyweek with the recaps since desiree season. Pretty please

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    1. Don't make me feel guilty! Waaa! But thank you:)

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  19. Please dont go. You keep me out of my sadness everyweek with the recaps since desiree season. Pretty please

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    1. I missed this comment earlier! Awwww, thank you for the kind words. I'll think about it:) Although after all this Bach in Paradise crap, I don't know if they'll be much of a franchise left.

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    2. Also, nice grammar Jen. Too tired to edit. Ha.

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  20. My sister told me about you approx. a year ago & I really look forward to your comments! Thanks so much for the laughs & you really said things exactly the way they were....loved your comments! Take a nice well-deserved break & I hope you'll be back!

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    1. Wow, thank you so much. This means a lot to me. Thank YOU for reading! xoxo

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  21. Instead of giving it up for good how about letting some guest bloggers put up posts for a while? The posts which of course you can edit, or reject altogether....

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    1. It's a great idea, but will probably take a lot of work? People are welcome to post links on my FB page? Hmmm. Let me think about it!

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  22. Sniff. I honestly was afraid this was going to happen, but I also understand completely. Even if you don't write about this sicko amazing show, I'll still hear your "voice" when I watch it. Jen lives on! (But please don't stop writing -- you have a talent!)

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    1. This is the best! I love that my voice will always be in your head. Hahahaha...

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  23. I am so sorry to see you go. I've been reading your blog for years and have introduced several others to it. I can't imagine not having you here to make my Bachelor experience so much more entertaining. I sure hope you decide to come back. I'll miss you!

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    1. Oh, I'm so sorry. This bums me out - I love you for the nice words and for reading my blog all these years. xoxo

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  24. nooo! ok, i understand but i so look forward to your posts. :(

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  25. Thanks for making the show so much fun!! I've loved them all, but I think my favorite season of your blog was Jef with one F. So funny! I think that may have been one of the last seasons where the producers pretended the show was "real." There used to be genuine under the couch moments because the people on the show seemed to take it seriously -- now, it seems just poorly acted.

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    1. Ahhh, yes, I miss Jef with one f. Still think he was hot. And agree on your other points, too. Anyhoo, thanks for reading:)

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  26. What's your fb?

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    1. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100006157608479

      or you can click on the "facebook" button on the right hand side of this page (up top)

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  27. It is completely understandable. Perhaps you can just post random comments on your FB page while you are watching it or turn to Twitter and do live commentary during the show. I believe the person who commented on FB just gave you the out you were looking for to call it a day. I am sure they did not have the intent to make you quit. Life is too short to spend it on crap that you hate but 144 characters might just be enough to satisfy your snarky side.

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    1. Live tweeting might be SUPER fun for me, actually. Thank you! Something to think about.

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    2. Oh and yes, I'm sure that person wasn't trying to get me to quit. Nor did I quit because of her. It just helped, you know?

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  28. So sorry to see you go, Jen. Your blog is always the highlight to watching this show. Know that your wit has brought me many a laugh on workdays. When I'm watching and something incredibly awkward or stupid happens, I immediately think of you and wonder what your take will be. Thanks for all the fun! I hope you enjoy the next chapter of your life sans blog. Have a great one!

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    1. Always loved your comments, Audra. And one of my favorite compliments is when someone says they wonder what my reaction is when they're watching a bad part. Ha. So thank you. Thank you for the kind words!

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  29. This is so not meant to make you feel guilty - but more of a thank you tribute to show how much you are appreciated! I stopped watching this show a few seasons ago, but I continue to come here every week to read your updates for comic relief. I LOVE your writing style, but it should never be 'work', so if you ever decide to blog about other things in real life (or fake life as this show is), I'd love to read! Enjoy retirement (and be sure to drink to that!!!)

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    1. Well, thank you so very much. I really appreciate that! And I appreciate your understanding. And yes, writing this blog was so fun when I was into it and then it did begin to feel like work (a little) because it became so much harder for me to write? I don't know. I'm sure I'll be back somehow! Thanks again...

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  30. Thanks for hanging in there as long as you did, your recaps made this horrible show worth watching and also provided the spots in the show to fast forward to.

    Kids, dogs, jobs, spouses, etc., are way more important that this shit show, but at least you made watching it all worthwhile for many fun years!

    A long time fan!

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    1. Love a long time fan. Thank you so so much - really nice of you to say. xoxo

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  31. While I certainly look for your blog each week and will miss your wit, I completely understand needing to take a break and your reasons for it. Hopefully you will return to the madness at some point and we'll all be thrilled to have you back!!!

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  32. I've loved reading your recaps for the past few years. I'm sorry the person who said you've "given up" hurt your feelings. To be honest, it seemed like you were mailing it in this season and through Nick's season, too... but I still came back to your blog every week because even if the post wasn't super thorough, it was still entertaining. I hope you'll pick it back up at some point.

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    1. Yeah, it kind of hurt my feelings but honestly, not really. I think I was ready to take a break and that helped. And yes, I too felt like my blog was suffering (mailing it in) these past couple seasons, and I didn't want to half-ass it anymore. You guys deserve more:)

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  33. Thank you so very much for the MANY laughs you have provided. When days were slow and long, it was always uplifting to read your blog. I hope your break is enjoyable and refueling to you and that you will return to entertaining people, which is a gift you definitely have!

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    1. Wow, thank you very much. Really, really nice of you to say:)

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  34. I'm so sad to see this, but totally understand. There's only so much fun you can make out of this same old crap. And to do it weekly for so long has got to take something out of you. Honestly, even when I didn't watch the season I still followed your blog. I had a sense of what was going on and didn't have to watch the "most dramatic thing that's ever happened in bachelor history" That shit got old. Real fast. I hope you check in occasionally just to give us a good laugh. Maybe a new shitshow will emerge we can all bond over again. Until then keep bein awesome!

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    1. Thanks, Trisha! Really appreciate all this. And yes, I'll keep my eyes open for a new show. I might just need a new topic! Anyway, thanks again:)

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    2. I found you accidently a few years back when I was forced to watch bachelor with my wife. You were quite funny. I don't watch the show anymore, but do check into your blog for updates. If you're looking for a show that is far more entertaining, but has a ton of WTF stuff to write about. I would like to suggest "Are You the One". I got my wife away from the bachelor franchise a few years ago. Quite literally the equivalent of watching grass grow. AYTO keeps me watching and hasn't once been boring (probably the people they cast). Check it out.

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    3. Never heard of this show! Will check it out! Even if I don't write about it, I love a new good reason to watch shit TV.

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  35. I don't even know how I found out about your blog but I've been silently reading and laughing and hiding under my couch with you for years. Sad to see you go but thanks for all the fun!

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    1. Please think of me anytime you find yourself under your couch! xoxo

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  36. Thank you for all of the entertainment! I will miss these and look forward to your return. ☺

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  37. These shows are totally ridiculous and whenever people would ask why I watched, I'd say, "Well I really only watch because of this blog I like to read." Thank you for all of the laughs and writing what I was thinking! You are the best!

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    1. I love it when I hear people say that! Thank you so much for being a loyal reader. I really love you guys!

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  38. Well Jen from all of these comments, I'd have to say you are damn popular. And for good reason! I started reading your blog seasons ago and would literally laugh out loud throughout the whole thing. Your blog really is what I would look forward to on Tuesdays and never missed one. I've read other Bachelor recap blogs before but yours is the only one I continued to follow. No one else's really was funny, especially compared to yours. I loved your lighthearted, unfiltered take on the show because it's what we're all thinking when we watch this train wreck. Thank you for providing us with your numerous counts of the guys you would and would not want on top of you naked; now we all have to imagine for ourselves.

    Thanks again and Best of luck to you!

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    1. Wow, thank you so much! This is the nicest comment. I appreciate it more than you know! Thanks for reading - really, thank you! xo

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  39. A sad day for the community indeed. As a married dude who can't get enough of this shitshow franchise, your blog was definitely one of the best parts of the week. Understand you taking the break but you will be missed!! My wife and I will toast our wine glasses in your honor tonight while watching the replay of last night's episode on iTunes..cuz we live in Korea... Super random, I know.

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    1. That actually is quite random but I love that I have a fan in Korea. Makes me feel international and David Hasselhoff-like. But really, thank you so much for the kind words. I love you both for reading. And no need for iTunes today - I don't think they aired a new episode last night because of basketball? Anyhoo - thanks again!

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  40. Lurker here, sad to see you go but man, what a commitment you made to keep us entertained. This should count as community service. Thanks for all the laughs over so many seasons. I've always appreciated your irreverent take on this show. You made many a Tuesday more tolerable and downright enjoyable.

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    1. Seriously, this comment (and others like it) make me insanely happy and it's why I kept doing it for so long. Thank you so much for this.

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  41. So sad to see you go! But take the break and maybe you'll be able to comment on the finale or on BIP, since it's now back on, apparently. I echo what all your fans said and I fart in the general direction of the commenter that gave you the sadz. Hug your puppy and we'll be waiting for you when you get back!

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    1. You'd fart in their general direction - that's amazing. And I love you!

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  42. Jen! I'm backlogged on Bachelorette (currently on episode 2) so just read your sad update (love the nod to Trump, btw). I never watch live (usually a few days later than air date) and love your blog so much that I actually read it during the commercial breaks 'cause I can't wait to laugh until the end of the show. Totally get why you need a break. If I could afford it, I'd send you on some type of a one-on-one/fantasy suite date with yourself (not in Finland or whenever Ben proposed to Courtney on the top of that snowy mountain...more of a tropical climate with white sand and clear water) for making all of us laugh over the years. Thanks for being awesome and we'll be here if/when you get back!

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    1. Oh my goodness, there is so much I love about this comment. Most of all, I love that you KNOW I wouldn't want to be in snowy mountain bullshit fantasy date, but warm and clear water. You know me so well! And I can't thank YOU enough for the kind words. Means so much to me. Thank YOU for reading! xo

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